What makes one person cheerful, happy and able to handle the hassles of a normal day, while another is upset, frustrated and ready to quit when adversity comes? Our intentions and expectations drive our emotional state-of-mind. Too often they focus us on our circumstances and not solutions to our circumstances. This will make our emotional state-of-mind a roller coaster ride full of peaks and valleys that sabotage our ability to create the results or life we want. We have to set the proper expectation and intentions that will generate the behavior that will create the results we want. We have to start in our mind before we take action.
It's simple really, just not easy. When you wake up in the morning what are your intentions for the day ahead? I have asked individuals and groups, large or small, this question over the past two decades and the overwhelming number one answer is, “I want to have a good day”. When I ask people to define a good day, the definition is, “A day with little to no problems, no hassles and nothing to worry about”. When I ask them how many days a year this intention or expectation is met, they usually answer, “None”. So, the majority of people I meet and speak with, start each day with an unrealistic intention, that when not fulfilled, makes them frustrated, upset or stressed out. We’ll discuss stressed out later but let’s stay focused on how to use our intentions and expectations to better serve us and drive us towards the life or results we really want, instead of setting us up for more bad days ahead.
First, let’s look at how we ever got to an intention of no problems, no hassles and no worries. When we wake up each day we have a choice to make, “Better or Comfortable”. Our human nature wants us be comfortable, not better. Can you picture early man in a cave? It wasn’t until he knew someone else had a better cave that he decided to go look for a better cave for himself. Our human nature makes us content to be comfortable but it’s constantly driving us to compare ourselves to others. We really don’t wake up each day driven to be better human beings or to make things in our life better. If we did we wouldn’t have most of the issues confronting society today.
Let’s stay focused on how we can overcome our human nature and stop sabotaging our own lives. When we define a good day as no problems, no hassles and no adversity, when we are confronted with the first problem, how do we react? If you said, “frustrated”, you would be right. By definition, this intention has set you up to be frustrated. Not the best state-of–mind to handle life’s problems. It is also my experience that defining a good day with comfort as our primary goal, leads to becoming frustrated when you meet the first problem of the day, which starts a downward spiral of poor emotions. These emotions make you less capable of handling the next problem or the adversity you are confronted with and may even make you withdraw or quit trying to overcome the obstacles in your day.
How can you change your intentions to change your results? Everyday the choice you make, makes you. When you start your day, change your intentions by changing your definition of a good day. Let’s revisit the idea or definition of a good day. If your choice is comfort you define it as “no problems”. Think about when you feel best about yourself. Your self-worth or self-esteem is best when you overcome adversity, solve problems and help others. So to change your results, to develop the emotional state-of-mind to make a difference in your life, you need a new definition of a good day.
This new definition can help you make a better first choice as you wake up each day. Define a good day as one where you find, meet and overcome adversity. Yes, you need to wake each day looking for problems. Problems to solve that will help people. You should not be looking to make problems, but to find existing problems and help solve them. If you are part of a problem, then become part of the solution. You should be looking for ways to serve or help others. This definition will help you not avoid conflict and endure difficulties with the proper emotional state-of-mind. With this definition, when you find problems you will be prepared and not be frustrated. You will meet them head on and you will find solutions.
Adversity and problems are the obstacles that stand between where you are and the results or life you want. The first step to overcoming adversity and problems is your attitude or emotional state-of-mind, which is most affected by your intentions and expectations created by your daily choice, “Comfort or Better”.
Redefine a good day and begin to experience them everyday until your life is a journey of solutions that serve others and rewards you with the results and ultimately the life you want.
By Mike Moore http://dld.bz/XePf